TOM and not the Cruise variety.

Warning: this may be a TMI post, but this is my blog and I like talking about my vagina and I think this topic is relevant. Warning over.  

Heeeeerrrre’s…..TOM!!!! 

Kidding…not him. (If the TMI warning didn't lose you, then talking about my vagina and then showing a picture of Tom Cruise probably did. Oops. Sorry.)

I’m talking about TOM as in Time-Ofthe-Month.

A.K.A.

Auntie Flo's stayin' over

Scarlett's Come Home to Tara
Trolling for Vampires
A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy
Feelin' Menstru-riffic!
Massacre at the Y
T-Minus 9 Months and Holding
Game Day for the Crimson Tide
Panty Shields Up, Captain!
Arts and crafts day at panty camp
Taking Carrie to the Prom
Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band
Ordering l'Omelette Rouge
Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System

Don't these seem like O.P.I. period shade names? IrishBonnie, you really are quite creative!

Anyway, my BFF during my TOM is not food, but something else. Frankly, (I find it funny that this post is about women’s menstrual cycles, yet I bring Tom and Frank into the picture)…wow stick with one train of thought, Christy….

Frankly, I don’t really get cravings or food issues around those days. I just try to remember to drink enough water to avoid the migraines and eat right to avoid the um…bloat. Other than that I don’t change a thing. But….I used to have other issues.

Damn-flippin-horrible-achy-o.m.g-I-can’t-even-move-debilitating-feel-like-my-uterus-is-wrung-like-a-towel-type-CRAMPS.

Until the Diva entered my life. Ah.The Diva.

And by Diva I mean the Divacup.

THIS PRODUCT CHANGED MY LIFE!

What is the Divacup you ask? It looks like a mini-chalice (Oh, believe me, the irony is not lost on me!) made of silicone. Fold it over, pop it in, twist and the suction keeps it in place, collects everything it was intended to collect with no leakage and you never feel a thing.

It pretty much fulfills all the pre-requisites for a cheapassmama like me. 

• Environmentally friendly. Who wants to contribute to the billions of sanitary pads and tampons that are dumped each year? We've used canvas bags since I was a kid, why not get a re-usable period product?
• Keep my body chemical free! Most tampons and pads contain surfactants, adhesives and additives. Many pads contain polyethylene plastic whose production is a pollutant. And dioxin, a known carcinogen, is a by-product of the bleaching process of tampons containing rayon. Yeah, I only want um… known substances near my hoohoo. (Is that "Known" in the biblical sense? *ahem*)  
• I can run! Running with a tampon sucks. I don’t know what it is, but I it rubs all up in there and hurts *shudder* not to mention the leakage issues. (TMI…forewarned!) But the Diva cup? I ran 9 miles last week with no issues. In fact, I really do forget that I have it in. I clean it out every morning in the shower and that is about it. Good.to.go. 
• I am cheap. Der. So why in the world would I spend $150-200 bucks a year on feminine hygiene (so…hygienic with those chemicals) products, when I can spend about $25 bucks for the Divacup which lasts well over a year and then some?!

So, you survived the TMI post. And now you want to get it, right? Or maybe you already know about this little gem but didn’t know who else knew. Me! Me! Me! Or maybe this just grosses you out. Leave a comment…anonymously if you’d prefer. I’d love to hear your feedback.

If you want to get one for yourself, check out Divacup online. If you don't want to order online, I got mine at Whole Foods, in the outer aisle….in the feminine hygiene aisle.

Epilogue:

Haha!  I just realized - my previous post was about that guy that asked me if i was pregnant!  Do you think I am really trying to prove that I'm not? 

RS: Are you pregnant?

Me: No, I'm a Diva! *SNAP* 

Tap out revisited

Yet another important reason why I need to always remember to eat right and hydrate properly. Not doing so will not only affect the day after, but 3 months later....

Setting: Getting off the train yesterday afternoon. Random Stranger (RS) in sunglasses gets up and walks directly behind me. 

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: (Giving him the big 'ol WTF look) Excuse me?
RS: Are you pregnant?
Me Thinking: (Does my ass look like I am pregnant from behind? Who asks that kind of question?)
Me: Um, no. Not that I am aware of. Why do you ask?
RS: You got sick one morning and got off the train and I thought you might be pregnant or had a rough night.
Me Thinking: Crap, I KNEW that day would come back to haunt me!
Me: Ha ha! (Why did I laugh?) No, I had a migraine.

Now, I will give the guy the benefit of the doubt, he did say after further conversation that his wife was pregnant and she was due any day now, so he probably had it on the brain, but seriously? Who asks that?  And with sunglasses on. Inside a train? Who's the one hiding a bender now?

So here are all the things that I could have said, but didn't:

RS: Are you pregnant?

Me: Yes, And I don't know who the mother is. 

RS: Are you pregnant?

Me: No, And I don't know who the father is.

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: Yes, And I don't know who the father is.

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: Um no. And why don't you ask your wife what she would think if a random stranger approached her and asked her if she was pregnant and then she can yell at you.

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: No. Are you offering?

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: No. But I had a big lunch. Food baby maybe.

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: You don't talk to people much, do you?

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: [Punch]

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: Do I look pregnant? Don't answer that.

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: No. Are you losing your hair?

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: No, I just wanted a seat on the train.

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: ....... [blink. blink]

Sooo.... Here is my question: Have you ever been asked "Are you pregnant?" when you were not? How did you respond? And what funny, snarky or maybe gentle-soul thing did you say or wish you said in response?

Izzy, Izzy, look at your garden grow

This.  This right here is why we are growing a garden. 


I came outside to water the garden and headed for the hose. I heard the door, thought Isabella may have followed me but didn't think much of it.  I found her sitting in the garden picking garden beans.  I ran back in to grab the camera and she had already picked and eaten about 1/2 dozen.  


Izzy Bean.  That she is. 


Now if only I could get her to wait till some of the beans get a little bigger....


Just the beans, not her. 

Feeling hot hot hot...in the heat sense only.

It got up up 100 today.  Hot hot hot.  Not a good running day and with the kids starting camp this morning, I knew it wouldn't be a day to do a 5 am run for fear that they would wake up with me, so I ran last night at 8:30pm.  

It was so darn hot, I decided for comfort over confidence and did the jog bra thing.  *Gasp*  

I learned 3 things about running in a jog bra only: 

1. It helps work your core; I sucked in that stomach the whole time.

2. I run faster even in the heat for fear that the slower I run the more opportunity people have to see the jiggle in my stomach.

3. I don't need reflectors because my whiteass tummy lights the way. 

That is all. Oh, one more thing.  Old navy has really cute jog bras on sale, like purple flower camo and bright tanks.  Again, keeps the focus off the midriff.

One of these days I will get back to talking about food.  But it is just too darn hot to cook.  PB&J anyone?