My wife, your regular bloghost Christy, invited me to sample some of her wares and share some thoughts here in the outer aisle, and she could not have picked a better thing for me to dive in with!
"Hey sweets, you want to have a three-way" she asked with a wink.
Well, hey, I fancy myself a bit of a libertine, which readers of my blog,
TOMB IT MAY CONCERN can attest. It isn't safe for work, sanity or good taste, but if you want to see what goes on in the brain (baking) pan of Christy's husband-you are welcome to peek.
So, I did a few stretching exercises and said bring it on!
She could not have tempted me more...wheeling out a tray(??) and pulling back the napkin cover as sensually as Laura Gemser massaging a cannibal woman in hopes of finding out if that expedition is coming back alive or is currently residing in the bellies of a happy gaggle of gut munchers!
Cranberries!! So round. So firm. So fully pact with red devilish flavor.
mmm.... Some folks go gaga over those upscale Pomegranates (even
CRAISINS have sold out), but I'll take a round-the-way Cranberry any day! They got skills that pay the bills and aren't afraid to take a few days to stop being such a darn tart.
So, where to start?
First up...Cranberry Bread. To be fair, this is kid infused Cranberry Bread-so I'm going to feel the flavor as well as taste the bread here. I'm biased, what can I say? The bread is really nice and solid here, it doesn't crumble up when I take a bite and the flavor of the berries is nice and fresh. No offense kids, but perhaps a little less food processor crazy next time, the cranberries are mulched down so that they don't dominate each bite the way I'd like.
But then again, a cranberry in a little banana skin mask screaming TASTE ME YOU SLOB!!! is my idea of a good time. The best part of my sample is the firm edges. It is really well baked, maybe even hanging out a touch too long to make it nice and full-one of the kids probably was juggling knives and a few additional moments of baking were added.
A good start to the menage a cran and washing it down with a swig of coffee has left me feeling confident and ready to peel open the Tupperware!!
I love Cranberry Sauce, and this sure looks like a nice one! I have no tolerance at all for the "shlishhhhhhplop" amorphous blob of store bought "sauce" and would prefer to slice that, freeze it and whip it at a wall than eat it. But this tastes really good. Nice and sticky, I have some in the edges of my goatee / flavor savor right away. My lips need licking and I'm ready for that task. Using a simple batch of cranberries, orange peel, sugar and water...and cooked up until it is ready for action, this is well balanced sauce. Not ribbed for my displeasure, it sticks in my mouth on the way down and makes every secondary swallow a premeditation on my next bite. I'm digging it. And digging in. Wait, the bottom of the bowl approaches...woops. Sorry babe.
Finally, I'm sort of exhausted and sticky, but not willing to bow out yet. I leave no job undone and will give the same vigor and attention to the final dish, the one I'm REAAAALY aching for by the way.
Relish.
Cranberry Relish!
Now, this is a tricky one, and right out of the box I pull back the cover and marvel at it's exotic choppiness. An entire orange, peel and all, is already languishing amongst the cranberries! Damn...I better bring my A-Game and wipe away that last dish with a glass of water. I'm hydrated, and I'm going in!
The first taste is interesting really, not at all what I expected. The orange wins out in the first flavor and aftertaste, but the cranberries are less chopped and sit firmly amongst it's opposing color. A bit of crunch goes a long way here and I'm digging on the tiny orange bits that are stuck in my teeth as I finish each bite. Really, this is more of an Orange Relish (Does such a thing exist?) with the snap of Cranberry to punch it up. Unexpected, but as welcome as getting a large coffee for the price of a small. Zingy and I can't stop eating it. The texture is a little grainy (maybe chopping up that Orange just a bit more would help)-but then again, I'll be savoring this until I brush my teeth. THAT is a hearty recommendation.
I showed up for a three way, and one of the participants brought a little extra flavor, the relish is the Eva Robin's to the sauces Ajita Wilson. Spicy...wild and full of flavor. The Cranberry rules and I'm spent.
I know return you to the relative sanity of Christy Zuzelo, your guide to the Outer Aisle, I'm going back into my cage and returning to the Tomb! Follow me if you dare...
MWAH HAHR HAHRRRR...oh, hi honey. Yeah, I'll go...no no, no need to proofread this. No no...it's fine!
Runrunrunrunrun...like a writer.
David Zuzelo is a wonderful, witty husband, taste tester, dad, media media mangler and blogger over at Tomb It May Concern. Check out his blog at your own risk. This was way tame in comparison.
