Getting with the program. Again.

For someone who states right up front at the top of this blog about losing weight using Weight Watchers, I have avoided actually going to a meeting for about a year now. I hit goal for the 3rd time in August 2009 and I still weighed in each month for the next 2 years. I did so for a few different reasons: 1. It was easy - we had WW at work. 2. I wanted to keep my LT standing. 3. It was free (as long as I was at or 2lb over goal) 4. I liked being able to pay it forward - I was motivated by those that lost & maintained and I wanted to show that it could be done. 5. It kept me accountable.

WW @ work stopped and I missed a monthly weigh in. I didn't want to pay. I thought I could just maintain on my own. But the further away I got from each of those motivations I mentioned above, the harder it was to get back. And the scale started to creep up. Sure, I am currently in a health weight range, but I am noticing a pattern and I am not ready to go down that slippery slope. I don't want to have a blog that describes me as "a mom of 2 that lost 60lbs 4 times over"; Three times is plenty, thank you very much!

Yet because I am in a "healthy" weight range it was actually harder to admit that there is a problem here. I'm not overweight. I'm only 3.2 lbs above my "official goal" (that is the goal I picked back when I was 210 lbs.) I am not looking to be uber skinny. So why go back to Weight Watchers?

I think for a couple reasons: I am tired of the cycle of listening to the "trying to be good" vs. "lighten up" voices in my head, those darn shoulds I fight so hard against: 

"You should really track"

"oh, lighten up it is just one chocolate" (which turned to 14)

"you ran 10 miles, you can eat that."

"you are going to run 10 miles, you can eat that." 

It became about the food and if I was "good" or "bad".  

This time on Weight Watchers, I made a simple shift, it isn't about what I look like, or what I weigh but to what I am going to eat that is going to best serve my body so that I can do all the things that I want to do and feel good doing them?

I want to run. Far. I want to be strong, both mentally and physically. I want to fuel my body with the foods to help me do that and fuel my mind with the positive thoughts that come with making positive choices.  If that means shutting the shoulds up by getting back on program, then so be it.  

Yesterday:

33 PPV eaten

7 APs earned