July 23, 2010

TOM and not the Cruise variety.

Warning: this may be a TMI post, but this is my blog and I like talking about my vagina and I think this topic is relevant. Warning over.  

Heeeeerrrre’s…..TOM!!!! 



Kidding…not him. 
(If the TMI warning didn't lose you, then talking about my vagina and then showing a picture of Tom Cruise probably did. Oops. Sorry.)

I’m talking about TOM as in Time-Ofthe-Month.

A.K.A.
Auntie Flo's stayin' over
Scarlett's Come Home to Tara
Trolling for Vampires
A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy
Feelin' Menstru-riffic!
Massacre at the Y
T-Minus 9 Months and Holding
Game Day for the Crimson Tide
Panty Shields Up, Captain!
Arts and crafts day at panty camp
Taking Carrie to the Prom
Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band
Ordering l'Omelette Rouge
Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System

Don't these seem like O.P.I. period shade names? IrishBonnie, you really are quite creative!

Anyway, my BFF during my TOM is not food, but something else. Frankly, (I find it funny that this post is about women’s menstrual cycles, yet I bring Tom and Frank into the picture)…wow stick with one train of thought, Christy….

Frankly, I don’t really get cravings or food issues around those days. I just try to remember to drink enough water to avoid the migraines and eat right to avoid the um…bloat. Other than that I don’t change a thing. But….I used to have other issues.

Damn-flippin-horrible-achy-o.m.g-I-can’t-even-move-debilitating-feel-like-my-uterus-is-wrung-like-a-towel-type-CRAMPS.

Until the Diva entered my life. Ah.The Diva.

And by Diva I mean the
Divacup.

THIS PRODUCT CHANGED MY LIFE!

What is the Divacup you ask? It looks like a mini-chalice (Oh, believe me, the irony is not lost on me!) made of silicone. Fold it over, pop it in, twist and the suction keeps it in place, collects everything it was intended to collect with no leakage and you never feel a thing.

It pretty much fulfills all the pre-requisites for a cheapassmama like me. 

  • Environmentally friendly. Who wants to contribute to the billions of sanitary pads and tampons that are dumped each year? We've used canvas bags since I was a kid, why not get a re-usable period product?
  • Keep my body chemical free! Most tampons and pads contain surfactants, adhesives and additives. Many pads contain polyethylene plastic whose production is a pollutant. And dioxin, a known carcinogen, is a by-product of the bleaching process of tampons containing rayon. Yeah, I only want um… known substances near my hoohoo. (Is that "Known" in the biblical sense? *ahem*)  
  • I can run! Running with a tampon sucks. I don’t know what it is, but I it rubs all up in there and hurts *shudder* not to mention the leakage issues. (TMI…forewarned!) But the Diva cup? I ran 9 miles last week with no issues. In fact, I really do forget that I have it in. I clean it out every morning in the shower and that is about it. Good.to.go. 
  • I am cheap. Der. So why in the world would I spend $150-200 bucks a year on feminine hygiene (so…hygienic with those chemicals) products, when I can spend about $25 bucks for the Divacup which lasts well over a year and then some?!
So, you survived the TMI post. And now you want to get it, right? Or maybe you already know about this little gem but didn’t know who else knew. Me! Me! Me! Or maybe this just grosses you out. Leave a comment…anonymously if you’d prefer. I’d love to hear your feedback.

If you want to get one for yourself, check out
Divacup online. If you don't want to order online, I got mine at Whole Foods, in the outer aisle….in the feminine hygiene aisle.

Epilogue:
Haha!  I just realized - my previous post was about that guy that asked me if i was pregnant!  Do you think I am really trying to prove that I'm not? 

RS: Are you pregnant?
Me: No, I'm a Diva! *SNAP* 

6 comments:

Aunt Sue said...

maybe the only thing better than Diva is the Mirena IUD. Mirena has localized hormones, stays in place for 10 years, don't feel a thing and TOM is so light that it is not noticable. More like a drop from a finger stick on a cotton ball kind of visit.

comehithernow said...

Yes yes yes!! I love my Diva Cup! I'm on year 5! I also have a reusable pad that is perfect for the days that the Diva Cup is just not happening.

revmolly said...

Christy, thanks for upping my laugh quotient for the day!
If I didn't have chemo-induced menopause (maybe reversible, maybe not) I would run out and buy one right now...I've always thought of them as a little too hippie crunchy for me, but with a testimonial like THAT...

Amy F. said...

Ok, I DID run out and buy one. Really. Got out of bed, changed from my PJs, and drove right to Wholefoods.

Admittedly, I had been sitting on the fence for a year, and your recommendation comes on the heels of a rough kayaking trip. Timing is so important. :^)

Thanks!!

Emmy Roo said...

Oh my goodness, I WANT ONE.

I could add to the hilarity by making my husband actually go get it for me, which would be a fabulous plus . . .

Kathleen said...

Gosh Christy, your testimony is so amazing that I want to throw out my little O.B. pocket pouch and turn back the clock 45 years...NOT!