April 30, 2010

Wanna see what's in my drawers?

Vegetables drawers that is.....

Green Beans
Cherry Tomatoes
Yellow Squash
Red Kale
Sweet Potatoes
Wheat Berries

That is a LOT of fresh produce!  Have I mentioned how much I love my CSA?

Enterprise, we pick YOU up.

Every Thursday.

Want your own CSA?  Check out localharvest.org for one near you.

We have our share, now this is where the fun begins.  We get to plan out our meals!

Some things are already earmarked in my head.  I have a lunch date with a friend, so I used the spinach and sweet potatoes (roasted) for a salad.

The beans, *I* loves raw beans, so some of them will stay that way and she can chomp all she wants.  She already had some tonight.  The rest, I am going to sauté with onions, oil and butter. Yum!

The chard, I am going to make that chard lentil soup again.  We didn't even get to freeze any last time, David & I ate every single container of leftovers.  We have some church peeps that could use some meals too, so between this and the parsnip soup, I think we'll have some food to pass on.

Squash gets steamed for the kids.  They gobble that up.  Easy peasey.

Tomatoes are for my salads.  I'll do more with these once our tomatoes from our garden are ready to go.

Carrots - some will go for the chard soup and some will get sliced up for snacks with hummus during the week.

Radishes - same as carrots.  Some go with salad, some with hummus.  I might attempt the Green Bean and Radish Salad recipe that came in this week's share newsletter. Maybe.

Asparagus - I am thinking I'll just steam or roast it.  But this might call for a special peek at the Rodale cookbook to see how we might make it into a main dish.

Wheat Berries - I am definitely going to try to make the Mushroom Wheat Berry Pilaf that from the newsletter.  That looked mighty tasty!

So there you have it. Now that I know what I want to make, now it is a matter of when!

Happy cleanER cooking!

April 29, 2010

P is for Parsnip

My personal productivity was plentiful so I penned the process of preparing the plethora of parsnips n' produce puree and posted pronto. Peeps, I'd be pleased as punch if you provide pointers on possible prospects for planned parsnips in potential packs of produce.

Curried-Apple, Parsnip Soup 

3 parsnips
3 cups water
2 cups chicken broth

1/2 large red pepper
2 cloves garlic
3 large Granny Smith apples, fresh
1 cup red lentils
1 tbsp salted butter
1/2 tsp salt or to taste
1 1/2 tbsp curry powder
pinch of red pepper flakes or red pepper sauce to taste
I added a splash of apple juice just cuz.

Wash and cut apples, parsnips and red pepper into rough pieces and put in slow cooker, leaving skins on all veggies.
Combine all recipe ingredients in slow cooker with water (omit or add some water depending on volume of ingredients in pot).
Cook on high until all ingredients are soft-about 2 - 3 hours.
Then, using a hand blender or blender and puree all ingredients in cooker until smooth.
Continue cooking on low until all flavors have combined and you're ready to eat!
Easy as pie and better for you.
Makes about 6-8 servings.


Calories: 162.2; Total Fat: 2.7g; Dietary Fiber: 7.4g; Protein: 4.7g

April 28, 2010

Chock full of Chard

We have more chard. Surprise surprise. I like chard, don't get me wrong, but I'm starting to run out of ideas. And if you know me, you know I do NOT like to waste food. So I found a new recipe that called for chard and I was determined to try it.

Except halfway through I realized I completely messed up.

Don't you hate that! Pissed doesn't even begin to describe. Poor David got the brunt of it.

Argh!  I had everything planned out; all our meals for the week. I committed to writing everything down to stay On Plan and within my points.

Thing is, one of the keys to weight loss (or weight maintaining) is to plan; if I don't plan my meals and workouts ahead of time, I end up making choices that don't always support my goals. For example, if I forget my breakfast, what choices do I have? Vending machine? Cafeteria? And if I go there I end up spending extra cash, go for the cheap danish and end up with the empty icky feeling by 10am after I come down from my sugar rush.

*step away from the danish*

Oh but it tastes so good going down!

Anyway, everything was going fine - I had an amazing run during my lunch to earn my APs (activity points), ate a little later and had a late snack so I wouldn't snack on the kids' dinner of ham fried rice.

I picked up local lemons and was ready to use up my CSA chard.

I started the lentils, the organic chicken broth, CSA carrots, spices and started sautéing the onions and realized the lentils weren't holding up.

Maybe this is a newbie mistake, but I suddenly relized that red lentils aren't the same as brown. Der. They were turning to mush.

Grumping through cooking the rest of the onions and tearing the pieces of chard (aggressively I might add), I was sure I screwed this dish up. David tried to console me.  I think I grumped at him some more.  I tasted it before I added the chard and it wasn't terrible - it was more like a thick soup base rather than bean soup.  So I added the chard, simmered it until the leaves softened and then added the lemon juice. When I sat down to eat it I could not believe my tastebuds! It actually worked!

I love my new mistake! Don't you love when that happens?

Here is the recipe for my delicous mistake

Lentil Chard Soup


1 3/4 cups dried lentils (I used red lentils, but recipe called for brown)
1 qt chicken broth
1 qt water
1 cup diced carrot
1 3/4 teaspoons sea salt
Dash of dried thyme
2 garlic cloves, crushed
2 parsley sprigs chopped
2 bay leaves
2 tablespoons butter
2 cups chopped onion
1 teaspoon ground cumin
6 cups torn Swiss chard
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Combine lentils (sorted & washed), water, and next 6 ingredients (water through bay leaves) in a large Dutch oven; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 45 minutes or until tender.

Melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cumin; sauté 10 minutes or until browned. Stir onion mixture into lentil mixture.

Discard bay leaves.

Add chard to soup; simmer, uncovered, 10 minutes or until chard is tender.

Remove soup from heat. Stir in lemon juice and pepper.

Makes 6 bowls of 1 1/3 cups soup.

Serve with 1 tablespoon of plain yogurt.

Adapted from Cooking Light, OCTOBER 2003

NI: 283cals/5.2fat/20g fiber/18.2g protein

April 26, 2010

The Outer Aisle or Outside

Going from flash frozen veggies to outer aisle was a big step. Going organic was the next step. CSA came next and now for the biggest transformation of them all. 

Local food.  

Like really local.  As in my backyard local.  

I am pretty clueless when it comes to plants and things. I've pretty much killed any plant that I have tried to grow. I even let an African Violet wither and die and you really can't kill those things. In all honesty, it isn't surprising since plants need water and I forget to give myself water, so how am I going to remember to give plants water. 

But, I will try.  

And now I have my kids to help remind me.  They are good at reminding me to give them drinks at dinner since I forget that too. 

Now the question is....

What will go into this beyond organic jardin?  


Working on tilling the soil

Deciding to make our own raised bed

April 23, 2010

The Outer Cosmos

After finishing up around the outer aisle, you inevitably have go through the check out line where the marketeers try to entice you with the last minute impluse buys and reading material.

Picture this: David, *S*, *I* and a bunch of bananas standing in the checkout line at 7:30am.  And since our 5 year old son has begun to read, he practices on pretty much anything and everything.  

*Pause for brag time*

He was reading words and flashcards at 3 1/2 and he now reads books; not like memorized books, but ones he's never seen before.  He isn't even in kindergarten yet!   

*Brag un-pause*

So David and *S* were at the check out and *S* begins reading signs in the grocery check out line to the amusement of the ladies in line. Then he reads a line from the cover of Cosmo about 7 blah blah Ore-Gasm Tips. 


He moves on to reading cookie labels and David pops out with, "Ah Son, a good gentleman always has at least 7 of those tricks in his repertoire...a lady needs consideration." 

Ah, my boys.  

Thank goodness he moved on to the cookies before David had to explain what "Give Yourself a Brazilian" means.  

April 22, 2010

Treating your roots

I'm clueless when it comes to hair coloring. The one or two times I did color my hair there was more dye on the towels then on my head.

The only roots I know how to treat are these babies. 

The turnip.  
(I admit, when I saw it in the CSA box, it took me a while to figure out what it was.) 

I read about "glazing" so I figured I would try it on these roots. 

2 T butter
1 1/2 T brown sugar
1/4 c. water

Cut up, boiled till soft...

and tossed with some water, melted butter and brown sugar....

turnips are quite tasty!

April 21, 2010

Tap Out.


3 days at home and I realized something very important. I really need to remember to drink water and eat on my weekday schedule. Even on weekends. Especially long ones.

Eating from the outer aisle is great, but it really helps to wash it down with some water. Tap, Britta, bottled, bubbler, Culligan, I don't care, just drink it. (Actually I do care, try to stay away from the bottled water, mmm...k peeps? It's a waste of moolah and do we really need more bottles for the trash or recycling bins?)

*off soap box*

My lack of hydration this weekend meant I woke up with the start of a migraine. I thought I caught it in time with water and meds, but on the commute in, I had get off the train and proceeded to puke in the nearest trash can. Lovely, eh?

I was mortified. MOR-TI-FIED. (And yet, here I am writing all about it! Let's just call it a teaching moment.)

I had a wonderful friend, my commuting buddy who brought me water and stayed with me while I got some air and figured out if I go home or catch the next train.

Oh, and who else was there to keep us company? Why, the jackhammers! Literally.

Yes, of ALL the stops, I had to decide to hurl at the one with the jackhammers *d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d* pounding into the pavement.


Imagine *THAT* with a migraine.


I called David in tears and said everyone that could see me from the packed train was going to think I needed to pee on a stick.

His response, "I am headed to the second floor, opening the window and flinging myself out. Now."

It made me laugh so hard, I instantly felt better. And quite glad my stomach was empty so I didn't spew from my nose.

Moral of the story...

Drink your eight glasses of water people!

April 20, 2010

Give peas a chance. Or green beans.

Is there anything cuter?  

Most of these fresh veggies didn't even make it to the steamer. Some actually did. Thanks to a timely post from a WeWa invisipeep, we had a very tasty side dish.  

Green beans
Raw almond slivers
2 yellow onions
Olive oil 

Pre heat oven to 350 degrees 

1. Prep beans and throw them in to salted boiling water for 8 minutes 

2. Strain and rinse with COLD water to stop the cooking process 

3. Throw the almonds into a shallow pan for 15ish minutes to toast them 

4. You can use the same big pot you used to boil the beans... Add olive oil and 2-3 tbs of butter on med/hi heat. 

while that melts....

5. Slice onions in quarters then equal slices. Add to pot and stir often, you want them to carmelize in the butter. Season the onions with salt and pepper. 

6. the onions will take 10-15ish minutes to really caramelize 

fold the greenbeans, almonds & onions together.

*I* did end up eating both the raw beans as well as the cooked ones. She did make sure I took off all the pieces of onion.  We'll have to keep working on that one. 

April 16, 2010

Makin' Whoopie - Birthday Bash (Part Two)

Before the crème was the whoopie. (Isn't that always the way?)


Whoopie pie. I mean Pumpkin.Whoopie.Pie.

For my first birthday make n' bake with my co-workers, I brought the big guns. Or at least the big mounds. And creamy filling.

No worries, unless you have the immaculate weight gain, you can look at this whoopie. If you actually make the whoopie, then you are on your own.  

What is it with treats like whoopie pies, ho-hos and ding-dongs with their suggestive names? Why would you want something that makes you horny and fat all at the same time?

Anywhoo....If you do decide to go all the way, and are of consenting age for whoopie pies, then here is the recipe.

Pumpkin Whoopie Pies (Thanks, Paige P. for sharing!)

2 sticks melted unsalted butter
2 cup packed light brown sugar
4 large eggs (room temp) slightly beaten
2 cups of canned 100% pure pumpkin puree (about 1 can)
2 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
2 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoon of baking powder
2 teaspoon of baking soda
1 1/4 teaspoon of salt
3 1/3 cup of flour

1 stick softened salted butter
1 box (8oz) cream cheese
1 box (16 oz) confectioner's sugar
2 teaspoons of vanilla

Whoopie pie Directions:
1. Pre-heat the oven to 350. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the melted butter and brown sugar until smooth. Whisk in the eggs, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, vanilla, the baking powder, the baking soda and salt. Using a rubber spatula, fold in the flour.
3. Using a small ice cream scoop (or tablespoon), drop 12 generous mounds of batter, spaced evenly, onto each baking sheet. Bake until springy to the touch, about 10-12 minutes. Transfer to a rack to cool completely.

Filling Directions:
1. While the pies are cooking, using an electric mixer, cream the softened butter with the cream cheese. Add the confectioners’ sugar and 2 teaspoons of vanilla. Mix on low speed until blended, then medium-high until mixed well.
2. Spread the flat side of the 12 cakes with the cream cheese frosting. Top each with another cake.

- Use canned 100% pure pumpkin – not pumpkin pie filling, which is sweetened and spiced.
- Drop mounds on both sheets before putting either in the oven to make sure you measured correctly and spread it evenly into 24 mounds.

The Tally: Abstinence really may be the best policy. BUT if you do go there...
634 cals/3g fiber/32g fat/8g of protein.

If you do bite it, write it. I don't judge. Besides, what a birthday without a little whoopie.

April 15, 2010

Is there an app for that?

Yesterday's decadent crème brûlée left me feeling like I needed a cleanse.  So, Part Two of the birthday bash will have to wait a day.  We *only* get 35 extra points a week.  We can't spend them all on desserts...

I need some for wine this weekend.  

*raising a glass*

Here's to a cleanse!... Cheers!  
There is something leafy in my box and I don't know what it is. (bottom left corner) hmmmm.

Amazon has this app for your phone where you can snap a picture of a product (say you are in BestBuy) and it will find it and give you their price and put it in your cart if you want....Welp, I think there should be one for vegetables too. 

Yo, iPhone people, is there an app for that?

And while you're at it, can you tell me an app as in appetizer for that green leafy thing?


Well, you are in luck, I have one for you....

That leafy green goodness is called Russian Kale. Apparently it is a form of cabbage, freezes well and actually tastes sweeter after a frost. Who knew? I think it is tasty with bacon. But what isn't tasty with bacon? Mmmmmm bacon.

So what did I do with this luscious leaf? I found a wonderful recipe in the Rodale Whole Foods cookbook.

1lb Russian Kale
3 slices of bacon, cut in 1/4" pieces
1 lg red onion
1/4 t red pepper flakes
1 c. water
1/2 t salt
1/4 t black pepper

Steam the kale in batches if necessary, until wilted.  About 3 minutes.  Then set aside.
In the large skillet, cook the bacon until crisp, then transfer with a slotted spoon to a paper towel. 

Add the onion and garlic to the pan and cook until soft, about 7 minutes.  Stir in the red pepper flakes. 

Add the kale, bacon, water, salt and black pepper.  Cook until the kale is tender, about 4 minutes. 

Easy peasey.  And tasty too!  I had this today for lunch over quinoa.

The Tally:  72 cals (woot!)/3g fiber/3g fat.  Total recipe cost: $2.70 or $0.68/serving.

April 14, 2010

Light it UP! - Birthday Bash (Part One)

I love me some birthdays. 

Just not mine.  

Ok, maybe a little.  If I can ever remember how old I actually am. 

But I *really* like to bake/make/shake it for other people's birthdays. 

This week was one of my co-worker's special days. And in honor of his nacido, I (along with my BB&B field-trip cohorts) ventured out to make crème brûlée.  

Now what started out as a joke after part-taking in the deliciousness that is Top of the Hub during Restaurant Week, turned into a reality after a bet was made. (No $$$ changed hands, just spoons. Plastic. Cafeteria ones.)

So fast forward 6 weeks and here we are....my kitchen.  Lots of outer aisle ingredients (forget you see that bottle of apple juice and no I didn't use a vanilla bean, I used extract, but hey...clean-ER eating right?  It's a process people.)

Back to the brûlée...

2 c. heavy cream
8 egg yolks
1/2 c sugar
1/4 t vanilla
turbinado sugar (aka Sugar in the Raw)
That's it.  

Beat the yolks with the sugar until smooth.   

Heat the cream until just about simmering.
Then add the cream in to the yolk/sugar mix a tablespoon at a time. (You don't want to pour the whole thing in, otherwise you'll cook the eggs. Scrambled creme brulee...blech.) After about 1/4 c is in, you can put the rest in.

*Dang, I forgot to take a picture here*

Imagine a bowl of yellow with a swirl of white, repeat.

Use a wire sieve to make sure there are no clumps. You want your dessert smoooooth.

Then add the vanilla.

Pour the mixture into your ramekins. (We got kits from Bed Bath & Beyond - $20 for the torch & 4 ramekins; the butane was about 5 bucks at the hardware store.)

Now the tricky part....

Put the ramekins in baking dishs and fill them up to the 1/2 mark with BOILING water. Careful not to get water in your custard. 

This mix actually made 12, but the 4 not shown were put in little pyrex dishes.  Worked, just not as purdy as the lily white ramekins.  

Bake in the oven at 250 degrees for about an hour - until they are slightly jiggly.  Like my butt. 
When they are done refrigerate them for at least 8 hours.

Now, I take the train in to work in the morning and there was a matter of transporting these bad boys with out damaging them.  

So I stacked them and created a little cardboard/tinfoil shelf to separate the dishes. I put them in a cooler with an ice pack (Thanks Gigi!) and safely got them to our little office fridge until we were ready to par-tay.
Once safely at work, I sprinkled a packet of Sugar in the Raw (1 tsp) on top of the creme then torched it. 

And voila. Easy peasey.

We took turns trying not to burn the building down. Here is the birthday boy lighting it up! 
Did you notice the fire extinguisher?  Ya know.  Just in case. 

They went back in the fridge for about 30 mins.  (Actually, no one wanted to wait that long, so they really only were in there for about 10 minutes, if that.  

The  gave me 6 out of 5 stars. I'd say that is pretty good for my first time. Won't be the last. Now that I own a blow torch. Bwahahahaha!

*Quick note - If you don't have a blow torch, I read you could put the sugar coated crème in the broiler until it makes the crusty topping.

The Tally: Are you sitting down???  199 cals/0g fiber/16g fat. Zoincs! That is 5 points WeWa peeps!  This batch made 12 3oz servings. 

Cost: A whopping .28/serving; unless you count the kit, then we are up to $1.95/serving.  Beat that, Top of the Hub.  Booyah.

April 11, 2010

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Oh to be 5 again!  *S* is in the silly joke stage.  You know the stage; made up jokes that put kids into to a fit of giggles while parents stand there and *blink* or *stare*.  

S: Why did the chicken cross the car?
Mama: I don't know, why did the chicken cross the car?
S: *fits of giggles*

Why did the chicken cross the road?  So I could learn how to roast it. 

That's all I got. 

Forget Boston Market or the 5 buck cluck, this is ridiculously easy. Buy a chicken - preferably free-range - rub olive oil all over it, sprinkle salt and pepper and thyme inside and out. Stuff with a lemon, and fresh veggies. Bake at 350 degrees for about an hour, hour and fifteen minutes. But really, invest in meat thermometer if you don't already have one. Stick it in the side and cook until it gets to 160 degrees.

And when I say invest in a meat thermometer, I mean fork 3 bucks for one.  Nothing fancy.

I love roast chicken with roast veggies. And I love the leftovers. And I love making chicken soup or broth with the remaining carcass. All those lovely little bits of meat just fall right off the bone. Why waste anything?

Here is my tip on chicken broth - If you have one of those big stock pots with the pasta insert, use that for the carcass, that way you don't have to try to precariously strain the broth/chicken mix over the sink or burn your fingers trying to fish out all the bones.  

Alas. I have done both. Burnt fingers and spilled broth is just no fun.

Oh, and on the giblets and such, freeze the giblets in a bag until you have 3 sets, then make some chicken stock with the stored giblets. 

April 10, 2010

Stock that won't crash

The stock market blows....when it crashes.

This stock doesn't.

And it is so incredibly easy to make.  Here is what I did....

Put water in a pot.  Add vegetable scraps. You know, ends of celery stalks, carrot shavings, the ends of onions, kale stems, what ever I was chopping and discarding for my soup.  I added a bay leaf, some salt, pepper, garlic powder and I simmered the pot for a several hours.  (The house smelled fantastic!) Strain. Put in containers and freeze or used as a base for soup.

I used this for a vegan kale white bean soup I made on Saturday. The rest is in the freezer in small containers ready to use for other soups.

The Tally:
Just about 0 calories
Cost - less than $0...since most of these scraps would have ended up in a compost or the trash.

And actually, now is the time to buy stock - I mean Wall Stree stock - if you have the cash.  It's like a sale. And who can turn down a sale.  If you don't have cash for stock, for the love of pete, don't stop contributing to your retirement account. That is all.

April 08, 2010

It's all Greek to me

I say CHO you say BANI.



Yes, my little goof-balls do chant this. They love it!

Pre-cleaner eating, I confess, we were a Go-Gurt household. *Don't look at me like that!*

Yes, I know it was bright blue and bright pink... I realize I probably should have thought twice when they would ask for "pink" or "blue" yogurt rather than by strawberry or some such.

Do YOU know any foods in nature that are cosmic blue? Really? But, oh they were so quick and cheap. A box from BJs got us through Lunch Bunch and was a quick, easy way of getting calcium into those growi
ng bones. BUT...(More like BUTT!)

BUTT...What is really in those time saving tubes?

Go-Gurt Ingredients - Yoplait doesn't make it easy to find on their sight.  "Nutrition" yes, Ingredients, not so much. So here they are: 

Cultured Pasteurized Grade A Milk
Nonfat Milk
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Modified Corn Starch
Kosher Gelatin
TriScalcium Phosphate
Potassium Sorbate
Natural And Artificial Flavor

So remember how we learned that the list and order of ingredients is important because it ranks most to least in terms of content. Let's look...

Cultured Pasteurized Grade A Milk - Good. Yay Milk!
Sugar - Eh, not great
Nonfat Milk - Yay! Nonfat Milk, but it's 3rd...mmmm....
High Fructose Corn Syrup - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!! Didn't we just see "Sugar" two ingredients ago? So basically, if Go-Gurt actually used only sugar or only HFCS, then that would be the first ingredient. Yeah, that's what we want to give our kids before they are ready to sit still and learn in school....Happy Hurricanes!
Modified Corn Starch - I at least know what this is. More corn!
Kosher Gelatin - Kosher, ok.
Tricalcium Phosphate - Can you please pass me the Tricalcium Phoshpate?
Potassium Sorbate (preservative) - And while you are at it, I'll take Potassium Sorbate too. You know what, never mind. Sorbet sounds better about now.
Carrageenan - huh? Isn't this a seaweed?
Natural And Artificial Flavor - Why have just natural when you can have artificial too! Yippee!
Carmine - Are you sitting down? This one is for you Survivor fans. Carmine is a food additive for coloring, to make it you have to boil dried insects in water to extract the carminic acid. I wonder if there would be as many buyers if this said "Ground up beetle"?

Oh and just in case you weren't convinced to pass on the tube o gurt, Coca-Cola has 3.25 grams of sugars per ounce. Go-Gurt has 4.89 grams of sugars per ounce.

For the love of the Greek Gods!

Personally, I love love love Chobani.  I know lots of peeps that swear by Fage or Cabots (cheaper) or Oikios (except the chocolate...That's just nasty. And not Janet Jackson Nasty.) 

So let's look Chobani's Ingredient list:

Greek yogurt is quite creamy so they taste fatty, but there is 0g of fat in the 0g fat versions.  And with 16g of protien, one of these bad boys and a clementine or granola keeps me going until lunch I swear. Yes, these are more 'spensive, but o so tasty.  A buck and change for the yogurt and granola is a pretty decent buy IMHO.

April 07, 2010

Before and After

I love before and after pictures. But mostly the after pictures.

Unless it's Hiedi Montag.

WTH was that woman thinking??!!

Anywhoo....My favorite part of the Biggest Loser is the last 5 minutes when they do the "where are they now" segment. It shows just how far the contestants have come.

Well here is my own version of before and after.


Holy Sodium Batman!! I think there is more salt in this freezer than in the Dead Sea.


Look at all those wonderful fruit and veggie drawers. 3 months ago, those were filled with diet coke.

My fridge is so exposed. Do you feel a draft?

Oh and just for the sake of full disclosure...I am an honest person...the before picture is close to the original, but isn't my *actual* freezer. I wasn't such a freak that I took a before picture of my lean cuisines (not saying that whoever did take this pic is a freak, I swear!) I really didn't know such a huge transformation would happen to actually have a "before" pic. Isn't that always the way? You never really take a before picture that is intended to be a before picture, you usually have to hunt for one once you reach the after.

Unless you are Hiedi Montag.