Apparently it is best to discard moldy spaghetti sauce right away. Huh. Who knew.
As the bag of trash was waiting to be escorted out the door, the jar of spaghetti sauce that I chucked yesterday decided to explode. I know...I know...I didn't use or freeze it in time or make my own sauce. What kind of cheapassmama am I? But that isn't the point. The point is the jar EXPLODED THROUGH the bag! as in, the lid, a screw-top lid, blew off the top of the jar, blew through the plastic bag and all over the wall, floor, door, CSA share, recycling, USPS boxes, cabinets and even as far as the fridge across the room.
I feel like CSI will be ringing our door any moment with their yellow caution police tape to rope off the sauce-y gore fest. And start questioning our family for persons of interest.
Izzy blames the mummy.
Simon blames the butcher.
David blames Dario Argento for recreating that infamous scene from Tenebre in our house. (Sorry, not linking the sceme from you tube. That IS a bit gory for my blog.)
I blame the processed food boogie man. I think it was ticked-off that I used the veggies first and ignored the processed sauce....
Or maybe it was pizzed because I didn't dump the sauce and recycle the jar....
Or maybe this is just a very funny, odd mishap that I have now learned from and will not do again. Of course I am not the one in the kitchen right now cleaning this mess up. That would be my wonderful spouse.
Now if you really want to see some saucy gore, and make my wonderful spouse really happy, check out his AWESOME new horror comic, that came out this week! Zombie Terrors: An Anthology of the Undead with Undead Templars by David Zuzelo and Billy George's story and if you want the story behind the graphic novel, check out Ascension of the Blind Dead.
What kind of horror shows have you seen in your house these days? Zombies? The Walking Dead? Or other kitchen or household terrors? Some how pressure cookers come to mind....
Epilogue: David added this commentary and it was just too funny not to share; so here is an update with David's take on the sauce-plosion....
"When I walked in the house at first I thought I would have to don hockey gear and find the giant rat running around our house in order to protect the kids! Then I realized that I had missed the chance to actually bear witness to a monstrous saucesplosion-truly a rare event. Dang. THEN my son began to accuse THE BUTCHER of attacking our trash and my daughter jumped in my arms telling me THE BUTCHER was here. My son began to threaten THE BUTCHER to come out and get a WAM PUNCH from him (ah, the men in our family will always confront issues like that is if they were wearing a cardboard suit of Voltron armor!)...and it was all very funny.
Then I had to clean it while muttering..."it is like RunLikeAMuthaBLEEPn Tenebre in here!!" Also funny. Look at that photo, and those that can tolerate horror films can compare my thinking by searching for this on youtube Tenebrae: Give Her a Hand.
No link because I don't want to scar anyone for life. Gory scene, but funny in this context. Good times...good times..."
7 comments:
I'm surprised Z didn't do side-by-side comparisons with TENEBRAE on Tomb.
It just blew up!?! What a mess! ouch.
My latest kitchen horror actually ended in the basement when I tried to grind up an almost full jar of old sauerkraut in our garbage disposal. The disposal didn't take kindly to all that grinding and disposing so the sauerkraut blocked up the drainpipe. The only way to clear it was to open a section of pipe in the basement and fish the sauerkraut out with a coat hanger. But for that to happen, all the stopped up water in the sink had to go somewhere when James loosened the release cap. Can you say "whhooooshhhhh?" Luckily I was holding a bucket under the pipe. (We've learned from past horrors!!) All is well now and I have learned my lesson-- only kitchen scraps are to be ground in the disposal. But you can imagine how excited James was when he found a semi-professional drain snake for cheap at Job Lot last week, just in case I forget and do something stupid (again).
It really just blew up. From INSIDE the garbage bag. Blew the top of through the bag.
I found a few drips on the couch, around the corner in the living room. Insane.
Thank goodness it didn't stain the walls.
Holy Cannoli! What a lousy mess. I'm so glad you can laugh about it and come up with interesting curse words (I believe Dave may have just come up with the new RLAM shirt slogan) and theories about it. How many pieces of Italian bread did you need to clean it all up? Wait. You didn't use a sponge, did you?!
I think you should have put sauce on the kids, have them run around screaming and then David could come through the door looking shocked and video tape the whole thing. It would have been epic!
This belongs on the Hungover Gourmet site as well - Zuzelo Surprise...;o)
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