January 06, 2014


My girlfriends and I were talking about the "click" you know the one that you get when you KNOW you have a habit and are walking the walk.  Sure it is hard every day, but there is something about the "click" that even when you know it is going to be a long journey you are still ready to take it one step at a time. 

We are so happy when it happens. 

We are so happy when it happens for others even if we can be incredibly jealous. Yes, we can be both! I know I was.  On my way up this go around I watched others going down and while I was happy for them, I couldn't find it in myself.  And it pissed me off.  What was wrong with me!  I KNOW how to do this.  Just do it. But the harder I tried to find the click, the more I gained. 

When we do find it, it is magical.  We want to bottle it and give it away (or sell it and be rich). 

The thing with "the click" is that you could put anything in there; fighting depression, or addictions to food, booze, sugar, sex, drama, weight, work, anger --- what ever demons we are facing, "the click" is telling the demon to go Fuck off. 

(Sorry parental units reading this...some times f-bombs are the best way to describe said effing off to the beasts.  I won't use the Lords name in vain, but give me a well timed swear word, and I am totally there.)

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

I hit the one week mark of no sugar, no dairy, no coffee, no wheat gluten. Dude! I feel better than I have in a long, long time.  My kids are happy because I'm not gassing up the car as much....."eeewwww, what SMELLS so bad???!!!"

Maybe it IS like Sister Anne says, "you crave what you eat". She says, cut sugar out for 3 days and you won't crave it. Maybe.  I'm only one week in.  I don't know that I will stay on the no, no, no, no eating pattern, but I do know that eating a half a loaf of bread and canola butter in one evening is not ok, even if it is whole wheat, even if it is the heels that nooner else will eat.  So bread is out.  This simple shift is my head and my heart giving my body a time out.  A grace period. 

Isn't it funny how we say "grace" before meals, before the ones that are often mindfully made with care, yet we don't say grace before we eat a "meal" standing up in the kitchen of franken crusts, picked over chicken and spoon fulls of Nutella?  

My friend Deb says the click happens when we are in the right time, right place, and right head space.  Like an eclipse, you can't make everything allign it just does.  

Maybe it is that or maybe it a little grace has got me clickin' away. 

What is your click? How do you get it and how do you know?


susan#'s said...

Happy to see you blogging again and can't wait to see what you will say next!

Carolina John said...

yea, I've finally gotten over pasta and (mostly) bread in my head. So tough! But once the change is rooted firmly in place, the new normal is so much more fun.